By Edward Mitchell


Having children comes easily to a lot of couples. Once they decide it's time, it just happens. There are other couples who try for years to conceive and are disappointed each month when it doesn't happen. As the female partner ages, the chances of getting pregnant become less likely and the process of carrying a child to term, more dangerous. The problem can consume partners and destroy relationships. Many times infertility counseling can help.

The more they try to conceive, without success, the more panicked some couples become. It is not unusual for one partner to be more obsessive about the situation than the other. As time goes on, the issues can start to overwhelm one or both partners. In this case, experts agree that talking to a professional may be the best answer. This is someone who can suggest coping skills and other strategies to help couples live full lives.

One partner may want to discuss the situation over and over again. The other partner might find it difficult to talk and would rather be told how to fix the problem. This can lead to frustration and anger. A counselor may meet with each partner individually and then together in order to recommend better communication techniques.

There comes a time, when a couple still has not gotten pregnant, that they will have to decide how to proceed. IVF is an option, but it is also a big decision. Continuing after initial failure is a bigger one. The treatments are expensive, but that is not always the major consideration. A woman's body also pays a price, and a counselor is sometimes needed in order for couples to look at their situation realistically.

There are alternatives to natural pregnancy and IVF. Sometimes couples only focus on one or two methods and don't seriously entertain any others. A counselor can bring up other options and help couples talk through the issues associated with all of them. For couples considering options like surrogacy or adoption, meeting with a counselor may be required.

If none of these options work out, couples will have to face the idea that raising children may not be in their future. This can be very difficult after years of assuming parenthood would eventually happen. It may require changing mindsets and setting new goals with the help of a professional.

As loving as family and close friends might be, they aren't always the best people to go to when couples need to talk out differences. They can be too close to the situation to listen without expressing strong opinions. Counselors are trained to listen to both sides impartially and compassionately. They will never repeat what they have heard, place blame, or tell one or both partners what they have to do.

Couples who conceive easily have no idea what couples with fertility issues go through. There is no way even the most compassionate can appreciate the difficulty. Turning to a professional may be the best option to help these couples go forward.




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